Fairway Divorce Solutions

1.      What are grounds for divorce in Canada?

The Canada Divorce Act recognizes three grounds for a divorce:  adultery, cruelty and being separated for one year.

Most divorces proceed on the basis of the parties being separated for one year, even if there has been adultery or cruelty, because proving adultery or cruelty is expensive and time consuming.

2.      When does the one-year period start running?

The period starts from the time at least one spouse intends to live separate and apart from the other and acts on it.  You do not need a piece of paper or court order to be separated. There is no such thing as a legal separation in Canada.

3.      My spouse and I live in the same house, but in separate rooms. Does this qualify as being separated?

Yes. Whether you are separated in based on what either party intends. 

4.      Do I have to apply for a divorce?

You can deal with all rights and obligations that arise due to the breakdown of your marriage without obtaining a divorce. You do this by negotiating and signing a separation agreement. It is best to obtain a divorce at the same time. The divorce legally ends your marriage and allows you to remarry. Your lawyer can help you obtain your divorce.

5.      I have been separated from my spouse for over 10 years. Is it true I’m divorced because I’ve been separated so long?

No. You must make an application to the court for a divorce, otherwise you will not be divorced no matter how much time passes since you separated.

 

Source: www.ottawadivorce.com

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The hurt and disruption caused by a divorce can make you question whether there can be life after divorce.  How can someone pick up the pieces...and have a good quality of life after divorce?

Don’t Panic

For those of you who might be science fiction fans, you may remember the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. The Guide book was quoted as being very successful because “it has the words Don’t Panic printed in large friendly letters on its cover.” I often wish divorce lawyers doors and divorce books had those large friendly letters. Panic is not productive and while it might be natural if left to control your life then it can lead to the kind of doomsday thoughts that make life after divorce so difficult.

The simple answer is yes. There is life after divorce. It is somewhat like the question of life after death in that you have to believe in it. Having faith that things will work out and you can survive and even thrive. Life after divorce is not a spectator sport. Life happens and it’s up to you what you want tot do about it. In other words, your mindset and beliefs will play a big role in how you adapt and succeed in your life after divorce.

Breaking it down into the factors that most affect us

Loss

Losing the person we were once closest to ranks right up there with death of a spouse in terms of stress. However grief is a process not an endpoint. Having worked through the loss of divorce, there are new relationships to be found and they can be as good as, or even better than you had in the past. You can use the divorce to question your needs and fundamentally change for the better so you can have happier relationships in the future.

Loss of friends is another major impact of divorce. Friends may well choose sides or drop out of the picture altogether. While you may feel betrayed and hurt by those former friends, it gives you an opportunity to pick friends that maybe didn’t fit with the married version of you. Finding new friends can lead you to new experiences and a renewed sense of purpose and enjoyment.

Stability

Married life often leads us to feel very stable and secure and we set long term goals in place. We think about retirement even if decades away. We plan for kids, for holidays together and get into a tight routine. Divorce pulls that all apart. This rips at our fundamental sense of security and many plans come crashing down. This can lead to panic and worry. But the fact is you can stand on your own. You can create new routines and build a new stability. Accomplishing that will make you a much more secure person no matter how disrupted your environment gets.

Parenting

If you have children, divorce disrupts the whole family unit. You may have less time with the kids; or if you have custody, you may have to adjust to the level of support you now have. Again, managing a family after divorce is a matter of being flexible and adaptable and can be done successfully. You can find ways to keep on parenting and touching your children’s lives in ways that really matter. Kids can adapt surprisingly well and succeed in the new non traditional family. You can help lead by example. By making your transition and showing how life can go on, you will show your kids a new path and help them adapt.

Financial

Divorce is costly and divorced families are often more expensive to maintain. Two incomes may become one or one plus of minus child support. Many people resent the change in lifestyle that result from divorce especially if it wasn’t their choice. However, keep in mind that money and happiness are not tied together. What loss of money may really mean to you is loss of lifestyle, routine, and plans for the future. If you think of it that way, money becomes less of an issue and more of a means to an end.

Divorce can present opportunities for new careers, going back to school, or pushing your current career further. These are people with real financial difficulties caused by divorce that may have to work multiple jobs or take a very large drop in standard of living to meet expenses. Accepting that this is where you are right now, doing what you can, and knowing it’s the best you can do and looking for opportunities coming your way will help you get through this. Divorce teaches us that life is disruptive and rarely remains that same. Many a divorced parent has succeeded in raising good and productive kids under difficult circumstances and you can do that too.

These are probably the top concerns of those faced with or going through divorce. Divorce is a process with an end and you can make it through and have an even better life after divorce.

Source: newlifeafterdivorce.com

 

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The province of Alberta has the highest rate of divorces in Canada. Saskatchewan has 27 percent less divorces than Alberta. In the highly conservative, so called red states of the United States the prevalence of divorce is said to be a lot higher than in the so called blue states which as earlier marriages together with less education and socioeconomic standing. Is this theory applicable to an Alberta divorce too?

Between 1968 and 2003, divorce rates increased by 357 percent in Alberta. Canada’s introduction of the Divorce Act of 1968 and its subsequent amendments introduced in 1985 made it very easy for a Canadian couple to get a divorce and so brought about a sharp increase in Alberta divorce rates. This is because the amendments did away with the requirement to prove fault; the only thing necessary was to show that the marriage has indeed broken down and that the couple were leading separate lives for a minimum of one year. Soon this turned out to be the reason cited for most divorces.

Statistics prove that Alberta divorce rates rose to the level of 995 divorces per 100,000 married people. It has to be noted that the rate of divorce is higher among those who have been married around the four to five year mark, and is relatively low among the couples married for more than this period. The divorce rate again declined to 2 per 1000 among spouses reaching more than 40 years of married life.

One theory goes on to say that the younger you marry, the earlier you get divorced. But this is not proved as as people in Saskatchewan tend to marry at a much earlier age – 29 for males, and 27 for females – but has a lower incidence of divorce. So the red state theory also  does not hold much water for Alberta. An idea that seems more likely is the fact that when compared to other states, the immigration rate of Alberta is very low. New immigrants, especially those arriving from Asian countries have a tendency to divorce less.

One factor that is attributed to the raise in the rate of Alberta divorce is a substantial increase in common-law living. In the 1960’s, a very large percentage of children were born to parents who were married but had not lived together previously. In 1993, about one third of children were born to parents who had lived together before they got married and the parents of about 20% of the children were living as common-law. A recent study reveals that there is a higher tendency among common-law couples to separate than any other type of couples. Under the circumstances, it is not at all surprising that the number of divorces is ever on the increase.

Incidentally, some American researchers found a curious fact that has a direct impact on divorce rates. Regions with very high divorce rates also have large concentrations of conservative Christians. This is surprising because conservative Christians are pro-marriage, in their attitudes, although they highest incidence of divorces. A lot of people in the red states are worried about this tendency. Perhaps this trend applies to the high rate of Alberta divorces as well.

Source: authorpalace.com

 

 

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Family law reform is gaining momentum in New York State:  last month lawmakers legalized same-sex marriage, while last year they adopted no-fault divorce, allowing couples to end a marriage without a demonstration of wrongdoing. In separate legislation adopted at the same time, New York also became one of the few states to adopt a formula for setting certain alimony awards, making them fairer and predictable. The rest of the country should do the same.

According to the Internal Revenue Service, former spouses pay around $9 billion in alimony each year. The amounts and payment schedules are usually decided by family court judges using a list of factors, including the length of the marriage, the ages and health of the spouses, their financial situations, their earning potential and their contributions to the marriage, financial and otherwise.

These criteria are sensible enough. But judges are on their own in deciding how to prioritize the various factors and how to translate them into dollar amounts, resulting in wildly inconsistent alimony awards. When asked how much alimony a lifelong homemaker married to a doctor deserved, judges in Ohio survey estimated as little as $5,000 a year and as much as $175,000.

The unpredictability of alimony rules imposes several costs.  Negotiating a settlement deal is much harder when spouses have no idea what they’ll end up with if they take their chances in court. Litigation drags on and the bills pile up when lawyers and experts have to prove their clients deserve any alimony at all.

All the while, the emotional costs mount as people awaiting divorce continue in unhappy marriages; some stay married indefinitely because they don’t know if divorce will leave them with enough money to make it on their own. That’s particularly troubling in cases of domestic violence: some wives endure years of abuse because they can’t be sure husbands who control the family finances will be required to give them the money they need to live if they leave.

New York’s law minimizes these costs by establishing a mathematical formula to calculate temporary alimony, which one spouse pays the other while the divorce is pending; it also allows judges to adjust those awards up or down under special circumstances.

Under the formula, alimony is set at 30 percent of the higher-earning spouse’s income, minus 20 percent of the lower-earning spouse’s, as long as the recipient doesn’t end up with more than 40 percent of the couple’s combined income. For example, a banker making $500,000 a year married to a writer earning $50,000 could expect to pay around $140,000 a year.

Along with New York, Pennsylvania and Colorado have also switched to numerical guidelines. But these apply only to temporary alimony, which ends once a divorce is finalized; no state has applied a formula to alimony, which is paid for months or years following a divorce.

There is no reason they, and the rest of the country, shouldn’t go all the way: the group that created the formula adopted by the Legislature, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, intended it to be used for all alimony awards.

Moreover, several local bar associations and family law organizations have come up with their own, slightly different, formulas for permanent alimony, giving state legislatures plenty of models to choose from. And lawmakers, recognizing that no formula will get it right every time, cal also allow judicial discretion to modify alimony awards in unusual circumstances.

In fact, judges already have the discretion to rely on formulas if they want. But many are reluctant because state laws tell them to rely on their own judgment; consulting a mathematical formula can thus seem like a dereliction of duty.

Maryland has taken the lead in putting this concern to rest. Last year its top court ruled that, even though the state alimony law mandates that judges exercise discretion, it allows for them to consult a formula to inform their decisions. That’s a big victory: it’s a lot harder for judges to make outlandishly large or small awards when parties can point them to an objective standard.

Legislatures should go further and require judges to start with alimony formulas, and then apply discretion. Changing alimony from a gamble to something more predictable would make the judges jobs a lot easier – and the divorce process a lot fairer.

Source: NY Times – 2011/07/04 (Written by Yale Law School graduate Alexandra Harwin)

 

 

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1. Resolve conflicts without putting kids in the middle. This requires being objective about your children’s needs, and not confusing them with your own, and compromising when the situation warrants. Stick with a conflict until it’s resolved; don’t let a problem fester then punish the other parent passive-aggressively or be difficult in unrelated situations.

2. Treat the other parent with respect. This goes a long way toward easing your relations with your former partner. It also provides a good model for your children; more than we are willing to admit, our children imitate our behavior. Disrespect toward the other parent will be played out by the child. It’s important for a child’s healthy development to have respect for authority figures, including both parents.

3. Observe appropriate boundaries. When it comes to your kids, it’s sometimes difficult to tell yourself what they are doing with the other parent is “none of my business.” But if an activity won’t harm them physically or psychologically, it probably is none of your business. Recognize it’s okay, and even good, for children to learn different ways of doing things. It’s almost certain the other parent won’t do everything your way.

4. Communicate regularly with the other parent.  When children are small, the other parent needs to know the basics when parenting responsibilities are being transferred. Has the child eaten? Gone to the bathroom recently? Do they need more sleep or a bath? When children are older, both parents need to know about school activities, sports events and trips out of town. It’s good to get into a regular habit of checking in with each other on the days when parenting is shared. A worst-possible scenario is that lack of communication could lead to a child not being picked up after school or day care, or important medical treatment being disrupted.

5. Demonstrate positive conflict resolution. Don’t try to hide conflicts when they arise. Children generally know more about what’s going on than we give them credit for. Use conflict as an opportunity to show kids how to resolve issues in a responsible manner.

6. Share with your co-parent what you need from him or her to do a good job at parenting. Everyone has different requirements for support. Be sure to be clear with the other parent about yours, and take the time to inquire about his or hers. Guessing is generally not very productive.

7. Don’t allow all of the parenting tasks to fall to one parent. Typically, things that are out of balance, don’t work well. Work at sharing parenting chores as equally as possible. Don’t hoard tasks and act like a martyr, and don’t expect the other parent to be in charge of all the communicating, all of the extra purchases, or all of the discipline.

8. Be consistent. This means in disciplining, feeding, and all around caring for your child. This makes transitions form one household to another easier, thus minimizing the outbursts from children after visits with the other parent. Respect each other’s parenting approaches, and recognize that while consistency is optimal, differences are okay. Children can distinguish that something that’s okay at Dad’s house may not be okay at Mom’s, no because one parent is bad or wrong, but because the two parents are different.

9. Help your children recognize the other parent with appropriate gifts of cards. These express your children’s sentiments and make them feel good about themselves when they’re praised for their thoughtfulness. Take the time to help your children make or pick our holiday and birthday gifts for the other parent. Recognizing Mother’s and Father’s Day are particularly important because other relatives aren’t involved in celebrating these days.

10. Don’t punish your in-laws by keeping your kids from them after a divorce. Your in-laws are probably as disappointed as you and your former partner are about the dissolution of your relationship. Grandparents can be a child’s greatest cheerleaders; don’t hurt your children and yourself by cutting off visits with them. In many cases, grandparents also provide back up child care. This isn’t something any single parent should give up willingly.

Source: parentalalientationcanada.blogspot

 

 

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The Divorce Act does not deal with sharing your property or debts.Each province and territory has its own law that sets out the rules for dividing the property and debts you and your spouse have. 

"Property" includes such things as the home you and your spouse shared, its contents, any other real estate, pensions from employment, Canada or Quebec Pension Plan credits, RRSPs, investments, bank accounts and cash. Debts include such things as amounts you owe on your credit cards, your mortgage, and any loans you have. Some provinces or territories also include business assets in their definition of property. It is also  very important to receive legal advice in respect to property division.

Usually, people who are separating come to an agreement about how to divide the property and debts fairly. This agreement may become part of the written separation agreement. For separation agreements to be legally binding, they usually require independent legal advice and full financial disclosure..

In some provinces and territories, if you wait too long after your separation or divorce to make a claim, you may lose all your rights to share in family property or spousal support. 

Check with a lawyer in your province to ensure you know the laws.

Source: divorceincanada.ca

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During a marriage, spouses usually share their love, their time, and their income. They both invest in their life together. But unlike an investment with a bank that pays a given amount of interest, an investment in a life together is difficult to add up and then divide.

For example, you may have worked and paid all the bills. Maybe you worked while your spouse trained to get a better job. Or you may have helped in your spouse's business. Often, a spouse gives up a job so that he or she can stay home, manage the household, and care for the children. These contributions to a marriage all have value. The Divorce Act sets out factors and goals to be considered when figuring out of one spouse should pay another spouse financial support after a divorce. Among these factors are answers to the following questions:

• How long did you live together?
• What was your role in the marriage?
• Who is living with the children?

The amount of spousal support to be paid depends on the needs of each spouse and on their income and resources.

Other things are important. The law sets several goals to keep in mind.

• Spousal support should give value to the contributions made during the marriage. If one spouse has benefited financially from a contribution, the other spouse should be compensated.
• Another goal is to make sure that after a marriage is over, one spouse doesn't suffer economic hardship.
• A third goal is to make sure that the spouse who lives with the children is not at a financial disadvantage because of that.
• Finally spousal support should help each spouse become economically independent within a reasonable amount of time, if possible.

 A  judge can order one spouse to pay spousal support to the other for a particular amount of time, or indefinitely.

Source: DivorceinCanada.ca

 

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One of the most intimidating prospects of a divorce for many women is facing a future with a changed financial situation. Whether it means trying to make ends meet with a single income, having trouble finding and paying for health insurance with new policies, or disputing the division of assets and other property, finances can be one of the biggest sources of stress and strife during a divorce proceeding.

A new paper in the “Journal of Human Resources” on the issue of income during divorce relays some surprising results. Instead of supporting the notion that divorce results in a lower income, the study finds that divorce may not, in reality, be financially harmful to women. A closer look at their findings explains why.

Economist Justin Wolfers at the Freakanomics blog lays out the problem with many studies of divorce and income: “A key problem with research linking divorce and income is that we can’t tell whether divorce causes lower income, or whether lower income could be one of the factors leading a couple towards divorce.

Researchers in their study take a more random approach to the issue. They found a factor that correlates with divorce: the gender of the first born child, with female first borns having a higher impact on whether a couple is likely to divorce. This factor is perfect for the study, as although the fact correlates with divorce, it does not correlate with the unmeasured factors that influence income.

Based on their calculations of these factors, the mean incomes of women who are divorced are actually higher than those who are married. More specifically, they find that some women have lower incomes, and some higher incomes, and those with higher incomes tend to gain more than the women with lower incomes lose, tilting the mean income balance in favor of higher incomes.

Taken on an individual basis, this does not mean, of course, that going through a divorce will increase the financial prospects of any given woman. Researchers found that just as many women had a decrease in their income after a divorce. In each individual case, there are many factors that contribute to the income level relative to marriage, including education level, job type, and several other factors.

However, the fact that many women aren’t immediately doomed financially by divorce should be welcome news to any woman who is facing an inevitable divorce or who is clinging to a marriage going nowhere for fear of financial failure. It’s much better to take a rational assessment of your future job and asset prospects and make a decision from that, rather than using a general anxiety about what society believes to cloud your better judgment.

 

Source: Totaldivorce.com

 

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In addition to giving us the immortalized image of Marilyn Monroe in her billowing white dress, new marriage reports suggest that Billy Wilder’s “The Seven Year Itch” also gave us a term identifying a real life marriage statistic.

Recent census data released earlier this year in the United States showed that first marriages ending in divorce lasted an average of eight years. The median time between marriage and separation was, ironically, seven years.

The “itch,” according to marriage experts, comes from factors such as the stress of caring for children or the accumulation of work and family pressures. Experts believe these pressures tend become “explosive” around the seven year mark.

John Hopkins University professor Andrew Cherlin explained the matter in a recent issue of Press Democrat. “Typically, people who are unhappy with their marriages figure that out within the first few years, then take a few more years to get to the state of divorcing,” he says.

“Over time,” says Cherlin, “people’s flaws reveal themselves. The positives remain, but the negatives also build. After a while, you realize that your spouse isn’t providing for you as you had first expected.”

At some level, especially as a woman, when you are dissatisfied, you may believe you need to get out while you still have options. You may see yourself as having more options when you are 35 versus 45.

The couples heading for divorce are often overwhelmed by factors outside of their spousal relationship – the mortgage, aging parents, or childcare. Often, not enough time is spent caring for the marriage or investing in their spouse.

Source: totaldivorce.com

 

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The economic downturn seems to have an unexpected correlation on divorce; as the economy dips, divorces and infidelity decrease.

According to the Wall Street Journal, a recent study from the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention in the U.S show divorce at its lowest point since the early 1970s. In 1980, the divorce rate per 1,000 married women was 22.6, which dropped to 16.9 in 2008, and in 2009 fell even further to 16.4.

Director of the National Marriage Project, Professor Bradford Wilcox, says that this trend “runs counter to the image people seem to be getting from the media indicating that divorce is actually more prevalent. The reality is, we are not experiencing divorce that way.”

Divorce statistics have been a highly contentious area of statistical research. There are many projections from various statisticians. Most are in agreement that the fate of divorce has been declining since the divorce revolution of the 1970s.

There is some speculation that the financial expenses of a divorce are factors in determining both the success and fidelity of a marriage.

Professor Wilcox speculates that “if your husband has a secure job, or your wife has a great health care plan, or your in-laws are helping out with your child’s tuition, you are probably much more willing to put up with your spouse’s faults and failings now than you may have been five years ago.”

The article cites interesting correlations between people’s views of cheating while married. For example, the number of women who believe infidelity is “always wrong” went up 11 % in the 2000’s, from the 73% of women that believed that in the 70s.

When encountering studies like this, it is important to keep in mind the difference between correlation and causation. There is merely a correlation in the increase in fidelity and the poor economic performance. There are many other factors that would also correlate to the decrease in divorces over the past several decades. One could just as easily say that as our use of computers has increased, so has the stability of marriages.

Just because we use computers much more now than in the 1970s, or that the economy is worse now, doesn’t necessarily mean that the two are related.

It doesn’t preclude the economy being a cause for relationship stability either. What the study does show is that marriages are lasting longer, and it does match up with a performance in the economy.

The theory that the economic conditions will have a significant impact on the stability of marriages is an interesting one, but not proven.

The likelihood of it being accurate is difficult to gauge, but it’s something to keep in the back of one’s mind when the economy does turn around.

Source: Totaldivorceblog

 

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